Why admitting fault is the easy part — and how to do the hard part.

Have you ever caught yourself saying, ‘Yeah, that was my bad,’ but then do absolutely nothing about it and make the same mistake again and again? Frustrating, right? I’ve been there, but I recently discovered something that has made me think about these cycles of mistakes differently. I was reading a book that introduced the distinction between responsibility vs accountability. Then it all started to make sense. Accepting responsibility is one thing, but being accountable is something entirely different. Today, I want to discuss this concept with you and present a method to hold ourselves to account.

First off, let me set the stage: I used to think taking responsibility was enough. If I messed up, I’d say, ‘Yeah, that’s on me,’ and I believed that I was handling my mistakes the right way. But the truth is, accepting that you've made a mistake, doesn't fix the mistake.

Being responsible is saying you messed up. But being accountable is making sure it doesn’t happen again.

I've been trying to setup a deep-work routine for myself. I was successful for 2 days! Then I missed an entire week... I messed up, it was my fault and I knew it, I didn't blame my surroundings or any external factors, I took responsibility for my mistake. But what did I do to make sure it didn't happen again? Nothing. I was stuck in a cycle. Make a mistake, accept responsibility, and go on my jolly way.

I was missing the next step. The next step is accountability. If I was accountable, I would have addressed the root cause behind my lack of productivity and created a system to make sure that I stay consistent with my deep-work sessions. That’s the difference.

I wonder if the tendency to accept responsibility is partly our way of deriving self-satisfaction, as though merely admitting faults spares us the pain of deeper change? I'm no psychologist so I won't delve into this much further, but it's an interesting thought.

Key concepts:

1. Responsibility Is Just the Start

Responsibility is important—it shows you’re capable enough to admit your faults. But if you stop there, you’re missing the real growth. That’s because responsibility alone doesn’t solve the issue; it only acknowledges it. It's the easy way out.

2. Accountability Is the Follow-Through

Accountability is responsibility in action. It’s you saying, ‘Yikes, I made a mistake. Here’s what I’m going to do differently next time.’ It involves creating systems, shifting habits, or seeking help to ensure you don’t repeat the same mistakes.

3. Why Accountability Matters

Personal Growth: It keeps you moving forward. You stop living on autopilot and start actively shaping your future decisions.

Trust Building: People respect individuals who demonstrate accountability because it shows reliability and dedication to improvement.

Real Change: When you’re accountable, you’re less likely to feel stuck. You transform mistakes into lessons, and lessons into change.

4. A Pitfall

A pitfall is waiting for external accountability. We might rely on a boss or a friend to hold us accountable, which can help, but real accountability is internal. It's making sure that you stay true to your principles in isolation.

Actionable framework:

Alright, let’s break down a simple framework that we can start using.

1. Identify the Slip-Up

Write down what went wrong. Be specific: Is it procrastination triggered by anxiety, or is it a lack of structured work time? Address the cause, not the symptoms.

2. Design Your Solution

Now that you know the root cause, create a plan. With regards to my deep-work session, I scheduled it early in the morning, but routinely wasn't able to meet my plan. The issue? I was sleeping too late and not waking up on time.

3. Review & Adjust

A week or two in, ask yourself ‘Is my plan working?’ If not, tweak it. The goal is continuous refinement. Accountability isn’t a one-time event, it’s an ongoing practice. There might be more than one root cause that you've failed to identify. For my deep-work schedule, I realised that one root cause was sleeping too late, but another root cause that I identified later was being too ambitious with the amount of time that I had set myself for the deep-work session. It's a new habit that I'm trying to build so jumping into the deep end may not be the wisest decision.

Reflection:

I would be a hypocrite to claim that after learning about this concept, I put it into action straight away and that I no longer suffer with the responsibility vs accountability conundrum. I'm human. The truth is that personal development is a journey of ups and downs. I just want to share the lessons that I learn along the way in hopes that we can all benefit together. We'll have moments of success and moments of weakness, but by the Fadl of Allah, I hope that we can all improve.

I'd like to conclude with the following:

Thabit ibn al-Hajjaj reported: Umar ibn al-Khattab, may Allah be pleased with him, said, “Hold yourselves accountable before you are held accountable and evaluate yourselves before you are evaluated, for the Reckoning will be easier upon you tomorrow if you hold yourselves accountable today.”

Source: Muḥāsabat al-Nafs li-Ibn Abī Dunyā 2

May Allah make us sincere for his sake and grant us success in the dunya and akhirah.

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السلام عليكم